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Sep. 8th, 2015


& the flashbacks start

Oh college Britni,
what fun times you had.

Do you have any of those moments that you think back on & you lose your breath? Like your heart jumps & you feel heat rising in your stomach because the nostalgia is almost to much to handle? I have many of those. On time in particular was a night in York. I had just started college a couple months before, things were still new for me there. There was a house party at "the condos" which were actually town houses, but it was the student living. Troy didn't want to go, but I wanted to run by and say hello to some people. Everyone was drinking, most were also smoking, others were trying out different substances, however I had to drive back home so I just grabbed a beer or two. Some of us were upstairs in one of the bedrooms, and people were coming in & out of the window to the roof. I decided that was exactly where I wanted to be. I climbed out into the crisp night air, it was around October so it was chilly & the air smelled so fresh, like only an October night could. A boy I had actually just met at school earlier that week was sitting out there, his name was JD. He was adorable & rode a motorcycle, so naturally I wanted to befriend him. I climbed & sat next to him. He was happy to see me, and I felt the same. We just talked. Smoked cigarettes. Sipped our beers. Looked at the stars. It just felt so right sitting there, I remember I didn't wanna leave. I felt like I had found a new happy place, in York PA, on a roof with basically a stranger, listening to kids climb in and out of the window next to us. Perhaps it was the smell of fall, or maybe it was my longing for new friendships, but I can remember that moment like it was yesterday. I can still feel the chill wrapping around me. I can still see the cherries from the cigarettes & weed being lit by the kids around us. I can still hear him asking me if I wanted his jacket. I stayed friends with him through the remainder of my schooling there. He stayed at our house sometimes, him & Troy enjoyed each others company, one of my friends dated him briefly. I haven't spoken to him in 6 years. I've drunk dialed him a couple of times to no avail, but I stopped years ago. Friendships are funny like that. They come & while there here they seem so genuine and real, like nothing can break the bond you have. And then they are just gone. You never see that person ever again. You don't even realize it's the last time you'll be seeing them until it's 2 years later & you miss your friend. I was just a fleeting moment to him. I wonder if he knows he's one of my favorite memories.

Nov. 21st, 2004


(no subject)

"because for me, it's always been you. always.
& i've tried to fight it, i've tried to deny it.
but i can't. you're undeniable."

hi, i'm britni シ i'm 21 & i'm a fashion student.
i love the rain, nyc & waking up early.
my journal is friends only.

just comment to be added シ

September 2015



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